Friday, April 10, 2009

Day One

Five years ago, I swore I would never have children. I had decided that they would be entirely too much work (and would ruin my beautiful body). I was too self-centered, I said, to ever be a mother (of course, at 22, who isn't pretty darn self-centered?) and besides, I had dogs. Who needs babies when you have dogs?

Of course, that was before I became involved with my husband (well, now he's my husband; back then, he was 'Sooooo cute'). He may not have galloped up on a horse, or been wearing anything all that shining, or even have been knighted (as i'm told proper Knights in Shining Armor are supposed to be), but he was exactly who I wanted to be my life partner, and somehow meeting him kicked things into gear.

So, somehow we ended up married (I'm a little foggy on the details, as the whole thing went rather quickly, but I do seem to remember the friend who promised to make our wedding arrangements sobbing to me over the phone at 2am one night).

So, somehow we ended up pregnant (and I say 'we' because I made sure he suffered with everything I suffered with [my complaining would've made anyone suffer] and I also made sure he rejoiced over every little thing I rejoiced over, even if I had to tell him through gritted teeth, "BE MORE EXCITED").

And while initially I wasn't very attached to the little life growing inside of me, after a few months I found myself excited by the sound of a heartbeat during an ultrasound, the sights of tiny legs and arms waving on the grainy realer-than-real-life image, and the feeling of gas - no wait, a baby! - inside my abdomen.

What I find amazing, though, is that although I never intended to be a mother, once I found I was one, it took no thought at all to decide what aspirations of motherhood I had.

With all the things out there these days meant to make a mother's life easier - formula! cribs! strollers! playpens! jumpers! swings! bouncers! - I never strayed from the easiest path, the path that called to me: natural mothering.

That is why when people ask me how I'm raising my son, I can always answer, "Well, naturally!"

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