Learning to relax

One of the most important things I've learned from being a mother is that I have to relax, I have to let go, and I have to stop being afraid of messes.

My own mother would argue that I've never been afraid of messes - I left enough lying around when I was young that I shouldn't quell at them now. But there's a difference between leaving books scattered across the couch and letting a 16-month-old pour a carton of goat's milk yoghurt on the kitchen floor. However, that's just what I did.



Being aware that both the floor and the toddler were washable, I tried to sit back and let him just enjoy himself. Every now and again, I would try to remind him to take a bite, but for the most part he was engrossed in dribbling yoghurt onto the floor and himself.



Of course, our resident clean-up crew were standing by, waiting for their chance to dive in. They ended up getting yoghurt-spattered too, but I figured that a wet washcloth would get the worst of it off of them.



I'm sure some of you are absolutely cringing at the idea of letting a toddler smear yoghurt on themselves and the floor. But I've been thinking a lot about experiences in life, and I remember very clearly being young (seven or eight years old) and thinking that there was nothing in life as much fun as creating a really good mud puddle with the hose and then stomping in it slowly and methodically for hours on end, pretending to be Atreyu dragging Artax through the Swamps of Sadness (bonus points if you can remember that film).

And, as I said above, both floor and baby were washable. So I sat back, took photos, and readied the wet towels for the end of the experiment (which, by the way, did not end until he'd smeared the dribbles of yoghurt everywhere, and finished by dumping the remaining inch of yoghurt in the carton all over his legs and diaper).

What things have you learned to be more relaxed about since having a baby?

Raw30: Day 22

Somehow, this weekend was just insane enough (thanks to the surprise-first-day-of-spring snow) that we never managed to get out of the house and shop for this week's groceries, so that was left to today. Because of the massive amount of rushing around I have to do to get everything bought (five different stores today), it left me no real time to MAKE anything. But I did set up some flax seeds and sun-dried tomatoes to soak, for use in veggie flax crackers tomorrow!


The bag contains "Pizza" Flax Snax, a flax seed cracker I was
munching on. Pretty dang delicious, especially when you haven't
had pizza in about four months.

Today was my mom's birthday, so once the Husbeast, Baby Beast and I were done shopping, we took her to a local German restaurant, Ingrid's Kitchen. If you're in Oklahoma and you've never been, you absolutely have to go. It's very authentic, the food is amazing and the pastries even better. And it was lovely to get out of the house and go to a nice restaurant, sit down to a delicious meal that I didn't have to make, and enjoy some adult company (namely my mom and kinda-sister-in-law, michelle; the husbeast doesn't count, because i talk to him all the time and he's only semi-adult company).

And Mondays are our days to go to The Little Gym with the Baby Beast. He absolutely loves it, running back and forth and crowing and clapping his hands. I think he probably enjoys The Little Gym more for the extra freedom we give him (never pulling him away from something 'dangerous,' as we have to do around the house despite baby-proofing) than for the organized activities. In fact, during the organized activities, he does he best to wiggle free so he can wander around doing his own thing.

So, with everything going on today, we only managed a semi-raw day. Smoothie for breakfast, and lots of raw snacks for "dinner." Tomorrow, I'm aiming at making the flax crackers and some Strawberry Crepes.... but I have to work tomorrow evening, so it's kind of up in the air on just how productive I'll be able to be.

Raw30: Day 18

Today was a hard day. Both the Husbeast and I have reached a point where we Just Aren't Enthusiastic anymore. He says the food still tastes great, he just isn't enjoying it as much. Personally, I'm not enjoying the taste of much of what I've made lately. Today, I tried making the Broccoli Soup... and while everyone else who tried it was rather enthusiastic about it, I found it off-putting and didn't eat much of it at all.

So instead I fell back on salad and Sunny Pate.



And since I was still hungry, I made a smoothie (using my usual smoothie recipe) and added about a Tablespoon of raw cocoa powder.



We've both been feeling deprived for the last week or so. I think the 100% raw experiment just isn't working at this point. We're both unhappy, and getting grumpy with each other for holding the other one to this diet. I think it's time to switch to a High Raw diet... or, as we jokingly say, 90% raw 100% of the time.

I'd like the freedom of a sandwich or a cup of coffee (it's true; no coffee on a 100% raw diet) now and again. I LIKE being able to have a blueberry bagel, even if I can't put cream cheese on it (because of the Baby Beast's dairy allergy).

But I also like the ability to make fascinating raw dishes and eat them. But if they don't come out appetizing (and the last three haven't), I like having the freedom to say, "That didn't work. Guess I'll pan fry a bit of chicken and make a Chicken Caesar Salad."

So, while I won't stop making fascinating raw recipes, I think it's time to bid adieu to a diet of 100% vegan raw food. At this point in our lives, it's only making us angry... and why do anything that only makes you miserable?

Tomorrow, I am either making a raw Potato Salad (out of jicama, oddly enough) or a Kale Salad. I'm leaning toward the kale right now... because I like kale, and I love avocados (and that's one of the main ingredients). We shall see...

Raw30: Day 14

Today was my day of rest. The only thing I made was Fudge Balls.

Allow me to say... I am a chocoholic. I love chocolate. So I HAD to eat something chocolatey before I lost my mind, and since my mom (we all cohabitate; it's cozy and convenient, except when she does things like today) just bought a whole tin of brownies, I knew I'd have to do something to avoid the temptation. (and it's dang hard, because she bought the type of brownies that don't contain milk - yes, the Baby Beast still cannot tolerate any dairy in my diet)

So, I did. And there are no pictures because I didn't make Fudge Balls... I just made squishy chocolate goo that tasted awesome. And I stood with the VitaMix container in one hand, a long-handled tea spoon in the other, and ate. And ate. And ate. I have no guilt.

And then I dipped raw strawberries in it, and ate those.

So, no picture (yes, there is some left; the Husbeast loves chocolate, too) because you don't want to see a Tupperware container of dark chocolate-colored goo.

But I will give you the recipe*.

Also? These make a fantastic breakfast. No, really.

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* Fudge Balls

2 cups dates, pitted and soaked (at least 1hr)
2 cups raw almond butter
1/2 cup raw carob/cacao powder

1. In a food processor**, blend the dates to a smooth paste.
2. Add the remaining ingredients and process until smooth.
3. Remove from processor and form into round balls.

Note: These will keep for a long time in the refrigerator.

** Although I used my VitaMix. Seemed easier to me.

Dairy (or the lack thereof)

While I've never been much of a milk drinker (it's just yucky), I have always been a big fan of cheese. I cover everything in a fine layer of cheese - salads, roasted vegetables, pasta... truly, the day I found out about cheesecake had to've been one of the happiest days of my life (cheese? for dessert?! i may cry!)

This is why the last few months have been such a struggle for me. You see, the BabyBeast is one of those wonderful little nurslings who cannot tolerate dairy proteins. And I'm one of the lucky 50% of women who pass the proteins through her breastmilk and into her infant.

We discovered the problem when he was about 4.5 months old, and I noticed blood in his diapers and BBLP (more alarming in the BBLP, because there it was, bright as day against the white plastic). His pediatrician put together a stuffy nose, a red ring around his anus, and the bloody/mucosy stools and told me to stay away from eggs and dairy for the next couple months.

I was able to add eggs back in with no ill effect, but since then anytime I accidentally (or purposefully, to test if his reaction has faded) eat dairy, we have to endure three to five days of misery. That isn't an exaggeration. I mean 'misery.'

The BabyBeast is inconsolable. Everything breaks his tiny Beastly heart, from banging his head while crawling to dropping a toy. And he doesn't just cry, he sobs and wails and turns interesting colors.

Well, I accidentally consumed cheese that had been cunningly disguised within my taco (by being sprinkled liberally on top of it). Needless to say, the last couple days have been... colorful. And I don't just mean the baby's face.

Luckily, we've not had a return of the bloody poo, but the stuffy nose, mucosy stools, and general misery have settled in and I suddenly find myself the center of one very angry, fussy baby's universe. If you've ever tried to change a diaper while nursing, you will understand how I am feeling right about now. Especially if, the moment your nipple escape his lips, the baby attempted to turn itself inside-out with fury and misery.

So, I'm back to eye-balling my food suspiciously, and hoping that nothing will sneak in (by walking boldy in front of me and throwing itself onto my food). The pediatrician assures me most babies get over dairy sensitivities by the time they're 12-15 months. I'd find that more reassuring if it wasn't another five months before he'll be 15 months.

I wonder how he'd react if I had goat's cheese? And why is it I only think of that when we're in the throes of dairy-reaction-Hell?