Learning to explore

One of my favorite haunts locally is the Science Museum Oklahoma (previously known as "the Omniplex," and honestly? that's how most oklahomans still reference it). It's a hands-on science museum with displays ranging from the history of flight (from the Wright brothers to modern-day space exploration) to the science of gymnastics to how earthquakes happen and how your teeth and mouth work.

One of their newest additions to the museum is the young children's area, and I've been taking our little ToddlerBeast (yes, i admit it... he's no longer my BabyBeast) into that area each time we go to SMO. I've had to struggle to sit back and let him explore on his own, rather than trying to take him by the hand and show him each area. It has helped that we have a new membership to SMO, so it doesn't matter if we don't get our "money's worth" each time we go in, because we can go as many times as we'd like.

So, in my sit-back-and-relax mindset, I followed the toddler as he made his way to the first area of interest: an old tractor.





Apparently, the tractor was a popular piece of the children's play area, because in the ten minutes he was pressing buttons and pulling levers, three different kids wandered in and out. He was so intent on what he was doing, his normal reaction to strange children (stare at them in alarm and escape when possible) didn't come into play. He just kept pulling levers.

Next on his to-do list was the phone display.




He is very occupied with phones... cell phones and house phones. Any time he hears a phone, he mimics holding one up to the side of his head and starts babbling. Of course, he's used to phones without cords, so playing with the SMO phones - that were practically rotary phones - left him a little... umm... troubled.



Once we ventured out of the children's area, he only had one stop in mind: the giant hot air balloon that, at the push of a button to start the burner, floats slowly up to the top of the ceiling then drifts back down to its starting point.




Eventually, though, even the balloon no longer held his interest, and he began manhandling the stroller tray, opening and closing it with great interest.



Shortly after that, though, the toddler meltdown began and we left SMO to head back home.

Since I've been going to SMO since my own childhood, it was a struggle to not drag him to all my favorite exhibits... but when I go to SMO for him, I have to remind myself that it is his adventure. My job is, as Maria Montessori said, to follow the child. When I can sit back, and allow the ToddlerBeast to be himself, he ends up showing me things I never would've noticed on my own.

Taking a toddler to the park

If there's one thing I've learned about living with a toddler, it's that he and I are both happier if he's outside. Inside, I'm constantly chasing him away from things he shouldn't play with (whether its because they're choking hazards or just too easy for a curious and industrious toddler to destroy) and it feels like he and I are at odds all day long.

Not so when we're outside. The only limits I put on him outside is that he can't stick random things in his mouth (unless I approve them) and he isn't allowed to kill himself. That's it. If he wants to run around, he can run around. If he wants to hit rocks and clumps of grass with a stick, he can do that. If he wants to scream, he can scream.

This way of being especially easy to live by in a large, open park where he's a fairly safe distance from cars. Then, we can really open up and just let him go.




The rules are simple: we follow him and let him make the choices of what we're going to do. We don't try to drag him to any playground equipment or do anything that would stop him from just enjoying himself. He'll find the things he wants to play with all on his own.




We can't always give him complete autonomy, so when the opportunity presents itself, it's truly nice to let him make the choices for awhile.



The crux of this being that we don't let him out of our sight; that's the rule for when he's playing outside, especially in strange or open places. Luckily, he's usually content to drag us around with him.



That's his new thing, actually; grabbing hold of one or two of our fingers and dragging us from place to place, pointing things out to us as we go in case we've missed seeing them.



It's a chance to relax and let him be in control for awhile, something that every toddler needs.



What have you done this week to allow your little ones a chance to be their own person and make decisions for themselves?

Mastering new skills: art

I've held off on introducing coloring to the Baby Beast, mainly because I don't want to encourage the ham-fisted attempt most kids use when learning to use a crayon. Luckily, he is very willing to mimic once I model how to do something, and we dived right in to his first "art project."

(a note on modeling: this is a Montessori concept. you demonstrate how to do something correctly, then sit back and allow your baby or child to do it as close to correct as they can. the demonstration is not the set-in-stone way of doing it; the demonstration is merely meant to give the infant/child a clear, hesitation-free way to accomplish a task. everyone does things differently. i still don't use scissors the 'correct' way [i was self-taught] but i manage to cut things just fine, despite the odd looks i get from people when they see me holding scissors)



I offered him only two crayons for this first experiment, since I could see him getting lost in the fun of taking crayons out of and putting them back into the box over and over.

I understood the importance of letting him do his own thing, so I mostly sat back and took pictures, only stepping in to correct his grip occasionally, or to stop him from trying the crayons out on non-approved surfaces (like the curtains or a dog's face). He ended up holding both crayons most of the time, one in each hand, although he's showing a definite peference for his right hand as the dominant one.



Other than him trying to eat the crayons every time I stopped paying close attention, I would say that this first experiment went quite well. The only real hitch is my old problem of saying "crowns" instead of "crayons." I'm working on getting it right, at least when speaking to the BB. I may be screwing him up on accident (as i've been told before), but I'm certainly going to try to avoid doing it deliberately.

A mother's addiction

I will admit to having an unusual addiction to both Mothering Magazine and their forums at Mothering.com. If you've ever wondered if it's okay for your 15-month-old to take cell salts, there's a thread on that. If you feel alone nursing your 22-month-old, there are several threads for that. If your dentist kicked you out because you wouldn't do flouride treatments on your kids, there are threads on that.

Living in Oklahoma, I often feel like the only mom parenting the way I do (a little Montessori, a pinch of Waldorf, and a whole lot natural). I go out to Native Roots Market (if you're in Oklahoma and you haven't been, you should go; they help you be a more effective locavore) to do our weekly grocery shopping, and I'm the only one either wearing my toddler or allowing him to roam freely (under his daddy's watchful eye) rather than tying him into a stroller. Or we go out anywhere and I get sideways looks for nursing my rambunctious, rolling-like-an-alligator toddler (who would otherwise be screaming and pulling on my shirt and pointing at his 'nursies').

Mothering.com makes me feel less alone, and helps me to connect with other like-minded moms. Plus, they have a new blog: All Things Mothering. It will feature blog posts from other natural parenting mommies out there in the world. So if you're enjoying "Well, Naturally!" then definitely head over there and get acquainted with some other like-minded mothers.

Lazy days

There is nothing quite like sitting outside on a summer evening, watching the light slowly fading while the Baby Beast toddles around the backyard, chattering and burbling to himself. He checks in with me occasionally, tossing me a smile or a flail of his arms, but for the most part he is content to wander around doing his own thing. I trust him to come to me when he needs me, and I keep an eye on him at a distance to give him freedom of choice without giving him 100% freedom to do something dangerous.

So I sit on the porch step, browsing through my favorite blogs and news updates, contemplating if I should try the new homemade deodorant recipe that I found, digesting a dinner of sprouted pinto beans and raw avocado on the side. Is there such a thing as true bliss? I suppose I might've found something pretty close to it.

Toddling towards a better way of disciplining

Now that the Baby Beast is officially a toddler (even though he's only 12 months old; he walks - and sometimes runs - every where, so he's toddling), I find that there are days when I find it ridiculously hard not to fall into typical human behavior: hitting.

Hitting one another is a human thing, so much so that we've tried to take a Bible verse (Proverbs, literally "a proverbial saying;" more on that in a moment) about shepherding/guiding sheep and turn it into a justification for laying a violent hand on our children.

Now, before someone jumps on me for misinterpreting the Biblical verse, take a moment to read through all the English versions of the verse (and if you speak another language, read them, too): Proverbs 13:24

In all these verses, I see nothing about "punishing" or "punishment." I see "chasten" and I see "discipline." Let's compare the three words:

Chasten: To restrain; subdue.
Discipline: to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
Punish: to subject to pain, loss, confinement, death, etc., as a penalty for some offense, transgression, or fault.

Now, of those three, which one sounds most inclined towards raising a hand (whether in anger or disappointment) against someone too small to protect themselves?

Many people say that the "rod" is in reference to the shepherd's rod or crook, the stick used to guide sheep. And while that rod is often used roughly (to hook around a wandering sheep's neck and jerk him back into place, for example), it is never used to beat a sheep into submission (unless the shepherd in question has some serious problems).

But all of this is simply coming from a proverbial saying. It would be like taking as instruction, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." And while this is good advice to keep in mind, it does not literally mean you should walk around with a bird held in your hand.

All of this simply to say: I am choosing a gentler form of discipline. Children learn behavior from adults. How hypocritical is it to tell your child, "Don't hit!" and then swat them (whether on the tush, the hand, the arm, the shoulder... whatever body part you choose, it is still hitting).

And lest we forget:

Hit: to deal a blow or stroke to.

Sounds like a spanking to me.

There are boundless books dealing with non-violent discipline for children, and I am currently reading them as fast as I can. Because I find myself often getting frustrated with the Baby Beast for being a normal toddler and getting into everything, and wanting to do things his own way, and wanting to explore. Here are the ones I recommend:

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen

I have read or am reading those. Books that I have on my list of To Read include:

The Natural Child by Jan Hunt

The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp

I hope that some of these will be useful to you; they certainly have been for me.

You may ask how gentle discipline fits in with natural parenting, since humans have almost certainly been smacking each other since the days when they were pre-humans who looked more like apes than modern man. What is more natural than respecting another human being as a human being? After all, while the Baby Beast is my baby, he is also another person who will someday be making his own life choices. Do I want him to have a firmly rooted base in using violence to end disputes, or would I rather him be able to reason through things and talk about problems? To me, that's a no brainer.

And all that is besides the perk of having a happy, secure toddler.

Raw30: Day 22

Somehow, this weekend was just insane enough (thanks to the surprise-first-day-of-spring snow) that we never managed to get out of the house and shop for this week's groceries, so that was left to today. Because of the massive amount of rushing around I have to do to get everything bought (five different stores today), it left me no real time to MAKE anything. But I did set up some flax seeds and sun-dried tomatoes to soak, for use in veggie flax crackers tomorrow!


The bag contains "Pizza" Flax Snax, a flax seed cracker I was
munching on. Pretty dang delicious, especially when you haven't
had pizza in about four months.

Today was my mom's birthday, so once the Husbeast, Baby Beast and I were done shopping, we took her to a local German restaurant, Ingrid's Kitchen. If you're in Oklahoma and you've never been, you absolutely have to go. It's very authentic, the food is amazing and the pastries even better. And it was lovely to get out of the house and go to a nice restaurant, sit down to a delicious meal that I didn't have to make, and enjoy some adult company (namely my mom and kinda-sister-in-law, michelle; the husbeast doesn't count, because i talk to him all the time and he's only semi-adult company).

And Mondays are our days to go to The Little Gym with the Baby Beast. He absolutely loves it, running back and forth and crowing and clapping his hands. I think he probably enjoys The Little Gym more for the extra freedom we give him (never pulling him away from something 'dangerous,' as we have to do around the house despite baby-proofing) than for the organized activities. In fact, during the organized activities, he does he best to wiggle free so he can wander around doing his own thing.

So, with everything going on today, we only managed a semi-raw day. Smoothie for breakfast, and lots of raw snacks for "dinner." Tomorrow, I'm aiming at making the flax crackers and some Strawberry Crepes.... but I have to work tomorrow evening, so it's kind of up in the air on just how productive I'll be able to be.

Raw30: Day 19

What an improved attitude I have, now that I don't feel like I have to do it one way, that I have some options. I think it was the lack of choice that chafed most, feeling that I had this very narrow window of what was and wasn't okay. For the most part, I've chosen vegan foods today... I just liked being able to say, "I think I will have some chicken on my salad" or "I am going to microwave a vegan meal" (rather than try to deal with a tired and fussy 11-month-old while chopping and mixing and flavoring). Also, a microwaved vegan meal is something I can sit down with the Baby Beast and share at his Montessori weaning table. A lot of the raw meals are either liquid... or chunky to the point where I don't feel entirely safe giving them to him.

I still ate two salads, guacamole, a smoothie, and 1/2 a pineapple today... so the majority of my intake has been raw. But I've also had a bit of chicken, some corn chips (with the guac), a few Fig Newtons, and a vegan microwave meal that, as I said, I sat down with the baby to share at his weaning table (although he mostly practiced stabbing with his fork and seeing how many times he could make rice grains fall off his fork onto the floor where the dogs were waiting.

Today's raw prep was the Kale Salad, and I really did enjoy it! It doesn't look like much, but it had avocado and salt and tomatoes... and those're things I really enjoy!



So overall, I feel pretty good about today. I'll be making another smoothie to tide me over until morning and almost certainly am going to make more Fudge Balls, but I don't feel frustrated or frantic anymore. Definitely an improvement!

Raw30: Day 5

Today was a serious prep day. I made Collard Rolls - which were unbelievably delicious - and Pad Thai - which tasted nothing like cooked Pad Thai but still somehow managed to be awesome - and Banana Ice Cream*. I pigged, it was good, I was happy. Even the Baby Beast sampled a few of the items, and came back to beg for more (in his typical way: "Muhmuhmuhmuh mmmmmmm." The "mmm" always comes when he sees us caving in to give him a bite)

I have said before I love avocados... and I was very excited to dig into the Collard Rolls because they had avocado. And marinated Portobello mushrooms and onions. And a weird mixture of grated carrot and zucchini.



And yet somehow, it managed to be REALLY FREAKIN' TASTY. I thought about letting the Baby Beast sample it, but it had a few too many chokables for my liking (not to mention the extreme saltiness of the marinated mushrooms/onions). But I enjoyed it enough that I'm seriously thinking of making it at least a weekly staple, hard prep work be damned!


Looks good, tastes better

Otherwise, the day was spent outside. Oklahoma is finally - finally! - starting to get some nice weather, and because we are doing a mixture of Montessori/Waldorf/unschooling, I thought it as good a time as any to start letting the Baby Beast do what he does best: wander around in nature flapping and crowing (at times, i think he's actually a Baby Bird, and there's been some mix up). And stomping in his new shoes.



Things here are going well. There are Spicy Fries dehydrating for the Husbeast right now, and I'm about to throw together a Wrap Salad before bed. Hey, when you're eating raw, there's no rule about pigging out before bed... and I like it!


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* Banana Ice Cream

Surprisingly easy to make. Take three RIPE bananas. Peel them. Stick them on a plate in the freezer. Come back for them the next day. Put them in a food processor. Process until they go past the gritty/grainy stage and take on the look of soft serve ice cream. Eat. Enjoy.

A table for one (small person)

When a large box from Lord Company arrived, I got understandably excited. So did the Baby Beast, but for a totally different reason: huge box in the house? That's just cool!

I rolled it through the house, with the baby trying to manhandle (babyhandle?) it away from me so he could slap it and chew on the corners, but I finally managed to get it opened and unwrapped a pound or so of plastic wrap and an interesting cloth/paper padding and found my absolutely gorgeous wood table and infant chair.



The Baby Beast was surprisingly enthusiastic about his new table and chair once I got them set up. For one thing, they were something new in the house (which is always a reason for celebration; we get a new pot holder and he wants to manipulate it for ten minutes and check all the angles on it); but I think the main draw to him was the fact that here was furniture that was baby-sized! He could stand up next to the table and look over it, and pat it, and drool on it... without being lifted up to it! He could pull his own chair out, and push it around the room, by himself!



This goes along with the Montessori belief that children need child-sized things that they can manipulate themselves. As adults, the world is sized for us. The tables, chairs - really, all the furniture - is sized for large people. To an infant, everything is giant sized and hard to manipulate. Everything feels awkward to them, and they are left feeling somewhat out of place.

High chairs are even more awkward for them, something they have no hope of getting into or out of. Providing furniture sized for them helps them feel less out of place.



Seeing the Baby Beast's obvious enthusiasm for his new table and chair convinced me that it was a wonderful idea.



It has also made baby-led weaning so much easier. Since he's no longer sitting so high up in the air, he isn't doing the typical baby experiments of tossing food off the side of his chair to see what happens. He's been getting into eating with gusto since we've started using his table and chair.




Of course, there is one obvious drawback to him being so close to the floor... he's that much closer to the clean-up crew when he decides he's done.




And he never has any shame about it, either.

The joys of co-sleeping

Have you ever had a co-sleeping night that is Just Not That Restful, and amazingly it is not due to the baby? We definitely had one of those last night, and the blame rests entirely on the poor, much maligned Husbeast.

We are in the process of finding a good king sized mattress to upgrade to (and it's a process, all right; I have SLE, and that means i need a squishy-yet-supportive mattress if i want to be able to move the next morning without immense pain) and that means that there are three in the bed on a queen sized mattress. Now, this worked wonderfully when the Baby Beast was smaller (which was for oh, about a week or two). Now he's 31" tall and 27lb large.

Last night was one of those difficult nights where Husbeast has a case of the twitchies, and they continuously wake both me and the Baby Beast. And since he keeps waking the Baby Beast, the Baby Beast responds in kind - by kicking him in the lower back.

Finally, at around 5:45am, the Husbeast apparently had his fill of this, and he got noisily out of bed and laid down somewhere else. I wasn't terribly concerned about where he settled, because I was frantically trying to convince the Baby Beast that no, really, we didn't need to get up yet (his usual 'good morning, world, here i am!' time is about 7:15-7:30am, and i wanted that hour and a half of sleep).

Our usual wake up time arrived, and Baby Beast and I woke up. And lo and behold, I found the Husbeast... sleeping on the Baby Beast's floor bed. I really should've taken pictures. Next time, I will (oh, yes, i expect it to happen again; how could it not?)

Striving toward autonomy

The Baby Beast has never been a fan of being fed... in fact, he regards spoon feeding as something to be distrusted and will glare at any spoon proffered towards him, unless he has seen me eating off of it first.

Luckily, he has managed a lot of finger dexterity. His pincer grip (grabbing between his index finger and thumb) has progressed almost to the point where he never misses (although getting the pincered food into his mouth is another story... that almost never goes quite as smoothly, and I'd say at least 45% of the things that move towards his mouth end up on his bib, his pants, or the floor). And if he can't grab it in his fingers, he'll just put his face down to the table top and eat that way.



No, we don't do a high chair. We used to do, but I found it to be an unbelievable hassle to always wrestle the thing out of the corner and over to the table, take the tray off and get the baby strapped in, put the tray on, put food on the tray... and then have to take him back down in five minutes when he grew tired of eating/playing with his food. We invested in an inflatable booster chair for regular adult chairs (straps onto the back brace and the seat) and it has been a lifesaver. He can sit at the table with us and eat, and he is able to get things himself with only a minimum of tossing on the floor (like I said, 45%. but then, we have the puppy cleaning crew around here).

Since the Baby Beast is so intent on autonomy, I'm planning to invest in a Montessori weaning table in the next couple of weeks. Weaning tables are just what they sound like: tables sized to your infant/toddler meant to make the process of weaning from breast/bottle to solid food as easy as possible.

No, I am not planning on stopping our breastfeeding relationship. The WHO and AAP both recommend breastfeeding a minimum of two years, and as long past that as mother and child are comfortable. And while Maria Montessori believed children should no longer breastfeed past nine months, she and I will just have to agree to disagree on that point.

Here is a photographic example of a weaning table and chair. Once the Baby Beast's arrive, I will certainly include photos.

Why make it so low to the ground? The idea is that your infant/toddler can get into and out of the chair with a minimum of help. Traditional high chairs make the baby completely dependent on an adult to help get them in and out, but the weaning table/chair can be climbed into/out of without and adult lifting the baby.

I operate on the belief that I'm not raising my baby; I'm teaching a person. Thinking in those terms quite often stops me from impinging my own desires on the Baby Beast (i.e. interrupting his play time to cuddle or kiss on him; he approaches me quite often for cuddles, and i am VERY willing to love on him when he asks for it. there's no need to stop him in the middle of his play to kiss him).

It amazes me every day how fast he's growing. It's hard for me to believe he'll be 10 months old in a couple of days. Time isn't marching on - it's flying by.

Communication

The BabyBeast is beginning to make recognizable sounds, other than "mama" and "dada." He's also mastered at least one American Sign Language sign (not surprisingly, it's the sign for 'milk,' which we use as our sign for 'nurse'). And, by the way, signing with your baby is a great way to bridge the gap between coos and gurgles and actual words. Do a little research and see where you can implement it in your own life.

A couple of days ago, he was after something he wasn't meant to have, so I shook my head and told him gently, "No, not for baby." which is my usual routine. He stared at me for a second, then shook his head at me and said, "Nuh." Either he was mimicking me (which would be fine), he was verifying that I did mean what I said (which would be fine), or he was telling ME 'no' (danger, will robinson! danger! danger!). The jury is still out on that one.

This morning, I asked him where his grandma was, and he stopped to think about it for a second, said, "Ahmuh" (sound it out - it lacks only the hard 'g' sound) and took off crawling towards the kitchen where she normally perches with coffee cup in one hand and computer mouse in the other (she likes her internet games, that woman).

It amazes me to see this tiny person growing and developing every day. It reminds me constantly that he's not 'my baby,' he's his own person (a very Montessori ideal). I shouldn't treat him like my property, because he isn't - I'm borrowing him in his youth, to teach him what he needs to know when he's a man.

Holiday summary (and photos!)

The holidays were a rather peaceful affair this year, as we were snowed in. The Beastly household was not without cheer, though, because we still had a good meal (courtesy of my sister-outlaw) and family and conversation.

I know its traditional to do a rundown of all the swag that was received, but I dislike promoting consumerism in general, and plan to eventually wean right off of holiday gifts. Why do we need a day to give one another nice things? Can't we do that just because we enjoy someone and want to make them feel happy?

Oh, I've migrated onto my soapbox again. Let me step down and continue.

We're all slowly getting over the illness the BabyBeast was kind enough to share with us (isn't it fun that his first holiday gift to anyone was a raging headcold?) and the 14" of snow are slowly beginning to melt (which may not sound like much to you, but in Oklahoma, it's unheard of). So, things in the Beastly household are slowly returning to normal, or at least as normal as they get here.

We're working on getting the BabyBeast back into his floor bed for naps; he's been so miserably ill that we've been keeping him in the family bed, propped up on multiple prefold diapers (clean ones, of course) to help him breathe. And since I've been ill, too, I've been taking the opportunity to nap with him every time he goes down. That translates into his floor bed not getting much attention from anyone (except the dogs, who will get on it even when they've been told multiple times to stay off).

So, here's to the up-coming year. To health, happiness, and more adventures in natural parenting.


BabyBeast and Husbeast trying to figure out a large present

The BabyBeast and his stash

The trench dug to allow the dogs access to the yard

The Montessori child bed

We've been working on transitioning the BabyBeast into his own floor bed now that he's wandering around our bed during his naps. While a 1.5ft drop isn't huge, it's a pretty big fall for someone who's only 2ft (and some change) tall.

As I've said before, I am not comfortable with cribs and dislike the ideas behind them (caging an infant in a time when their brains are developing and they need exploration and the ability to look around and take in their surroundings? no, thank you). Since we're leaning toward more Montessori ideals, introducing a Montessori floor bed just made sense.

A floor bed allows your infant to get in and out of bed under their own power, giving them autonomy. To quote from the Michael Olaf catalogue (a wonderful Montessori resource), "If we provide a floor bed or mattress on the floor in a completely safe room—rather than a crib or playpen with bars—the child has a clear view of the surroundings and freedom to explore."

Here is a little information from another Montessori mommy, not only on floor beds but on many other Montessori-infant-related things.

Currently, the BabyBeast's bed is in the same bedroom he's slept in since he came home from hospital: ours. It is about three feet away from our own bed, partly because that's how much room there is in there and partly because that distance makes it possible for me to get to him quickly if I'm dozing on the big bed while he's in his floor bed.

The treasure basket

One of the things the Husbeast and I have found fit well with our natural approach to parenting is the Montessori set of ideals for how to treat a child (if you're unfamiliar with the Montessori method, here is a brief explanation, although it can really be summed up with three words: "follow the child").

Since the BabyBeast is sitting up so well on his own now (he's had a month to practice it, and has nearly perfected it), I decided it was definitely time to introduce his treasure basket. It's not nearly as flashy as it sounds. A treasure basket is simply a basket (or box) with a few interesting items. The idea is to give them 'treasures' that will stimulate their brains, simple items that you can find lying about the house or yard. Meg, a fellow Montessori mommy, posted about her own son's treasure basket, and the post is definitely worth a look (if only for her fantastic photos).

The BabyBeast's basket currently contains a hand-carved wooden spoon, a nearly empty bottle of sesame seeds, some metal measuring spoons, a knitted pot holder, a rough washcloth, and a plastic brush with soft bristles. He's spent the last couple days exploring each item until he practically has them memorized, and I'm already watching to see what items I should switch out, which ones he seems less interested in.



It's delightful to be able to sit back and relax, and watch the BabyBeast lose himself in exploration of things that I definitely take for granted every day. He reminds me to take it easy, to look deeper at things that I might otherwise dismiss.